Babies and toddlers love to explore, and the most satisfying tool at their disposal is their mouths. They use their mouths and eventually their teeth to learn about the world around them, and this can lead to some difficulties, especially when they focus their curiosity towards a playmate.
We know being told your child is a “biter” can be upsetting to hear, but it is a very common occurrence, and whilst we should always do our best to stop it from happening, it’s also important to look into why it is happening.
Let’s “explore”, this time with our mouths firmly closed, the reasons why toddlers bite and what we can do to prevent it.
Causes of Biting
In the majority of cases, biting happens for one of these reasons…
- They are exploring – As any parent knows, children just love putting things in their mouths! It’s the best way of learning about the world around them, and they also find it comforting. Toddlers essentially see biting as a form of sensory discovery, without realising the implications of it.
- They feel overstimulated – When a child is tired or they have had a very busy day, they may be more likely to bite. Whereas a calm and rested toddler rarely feels the need to bite. The best way to avoid this is to follow any high-energy activities with quiet play or nap time.
- They are feeling angry – Maybe another child grabbed a toy they were playing with or eating a snack they wanted to try. Not biting when you really want to is a form of self-control, and toddlers don’t have that yet, so if they are frustrated and angry it is the best way they know how to respond.
- They are experimenting – At this age, children are learning how their actions cause reactions. Children are very curious about cause and effect at this age, so they begin to wonder “What will happen if I bite my friend”, and unfortunately, there is only one way for them to find out.
- They are communicating – We are lucky to have a wealth of tools that enable us to communicate our frustrations, and even varied ways to deliver these communications – phone calls, texts, even social media. But toddlers often can’t express themselves with any real success, so they bite to create a stir, to express excitement, or to say that they are frustrated, anxious, or bored. Is it essentially the toddler version of sending a passive-aggressive email? Perhaps, and just as ill-advised.
How to stop children from biting
Here are some key tips to help you handle the biting phase effectively.
- Address the behaviour immediately – If you see your toddler begin to bite, it is important to address the behaviour as soon as possible, otherwise they may forget why they were biting in the first place and just see it as a game. As soon as they start to bite, it is important to respond calmly but immediately.
- Look for patterns – If biting is something that you are finding happens frequently, see if you can track the events which lead up to each biting incident. Is there a common trigger? For example, is your child always tired when it happens?
- Encourage other ways of coping – Show your child other ways of dealing with emotions, try acting these out together by using toys or reading books and stories about feelings.
- Model Behaviour – Younger children love to mimic, making this a perfect opportunity to demonstrate patience and sharing with other family members—behaviours they are likely to imitate. Avoid play biting, such as nibbling on their fingers. This sends mixed messages and may encourage them to repeat these actions with other children.
- Encourage a biter to use words – Ensure your child knows that when they feel angry or frustrated there are alternatives to biting. They can say “I don’t want to” or even ask you for support in communicating.
- Don’t let them keep toys or treats from biting incidents – If your child bites, make sure they don’t keep the toy they gained through biting another child. If they feel like their biting strategy works, they won’t feel the need to stop doing it.
- Give them extra attention at difficult times – Frequent biting may indicate that a child is struggling with a difficult adjustment. Have there been any changes in the household, such as a new sibling or moving house? These kinds of changes can be difficult for toddlers to process and they may act out as a result. Sometimes special attention and comfort from a parent is all a child needs.
We know it can be difficult to hear that your child has bitten another child, or even that your child has been bitten, but it’s important to remember it isn’t personal. Think of biting as a rudimentary form of communication. Children typically outgrow biting as they develop greater self-control and improved cognitive skills.
By following these tips, your child will move away from the biting stage as quickly and easily as possible. At Sandytots we do all we can to ensure that we follow all best practices when it comes to any biting incidents, but if you have any concerns, please speak to your child’s key worker and we can work on a plan together to nip biting in the bud!
